The Harshest Burns from the Roast of Justin Bieber

What do you get when you give a teenager $200 million? A bunch of has-beens calling you a lesbian for two hours. [laughter and applause] It’s an honor to be at a roast hosted by Shaq’s dick. Wow, Ludacris and Snoop Dogg are here. If I was 38, I’d be freaking out right now. You […]

Tom Segura Overdoses – This Is Not Happening – Uncensored

– This woman goes “Hey Tom, you are in the emergency room and you overdosed.” And they’re like “what did you take?” So, I write, ‘Heroine.’ And they go “Are you serious?” And, I write, “Jk.” (intense dubstep music) – [Ari Shaffir] Welcome to ‘This Is Not Happening’ presents one crazy night. So, this is […]

No Regrets: How a Trump Supporter May Have Voted to Destroy His Own Career – The Daily Show

>>PRESIDENT TRUMP IS DETERMINED TO BUILD THE WALL.>>WE HAVE TO CLOSE DOWN OUR GOVERNMENT. WE’RE BUILDING THAT WALL.>>BUT TRUMP’S WALL WOULD RUIN FRAGILE ECOSYSTEMS, BREED XENOPHOBIA AND EVEN DESTROY SOMETHING RICH WHITE PEOPLE CARE ABOUT — >>IF TRUMP BUILDS HIS WALL, THEN IT WILL GO RIGHT THROUGH OUR GOLF COURSE.>>IF BUILT, TRUMP’S WALL WOULD CUT […]

“Don’t Lose Your Accent / Learning Accents” – TREVOR NOAH (Pay Back The Funny)

The newspapers say that, he’s famous. So now people treat you like you’re famous, they say the weirdest things to you. Strangest thing people would say to me, “Trevor! Trevor!” “Well-done on everything hey. Congrats! Congrats!” “But, even though you are going to America” “Don’t forget us alright? Don’t you forget us.” Like, “I don’t […]

Amateur Ping Pong Is Way More Intense Than You Think (feat. Kevin Nealon and Judah Friedlander)

– Yeah, yeah, yeah. – How many people have you killed, what do you think, in your life? On purpose? – I don’t. On purpose, like. Well, I really feel bad about all the insects I’ve killed in my life. – Insects, yeah. – Yeah, I look back and I’m like, I didn’t need to […]

“Zambia loves escalators, just don’t be gay” – TREVOR NOAH (It’s My Culture)

I did go to Zambia though. Fantastic place Zambia. Went there, visited the place and had a good time. While I was there I had a chaperone who really made my trip. His name was Alinani, sweet guy. And his job was to get me accustomed to the Zambian culture. And every day he would […]

Key & Peele – Fronthand Backhand

– ‘SUP, LADIES? – WATCH THIS, WATCH THIS. YO, TYRELL. – YO, WHAT UP, LAWRENCE? – HEY, MAN, YOU WANNA PLAY FRONT HAND, BACK HAND? – I DON’T KNOW THAT GAME, MAN. – IT’S EASY, DOG. ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS SAY “FRONT HAND” OR “BACK HAND.” – AIGHT, FRONT HAND. – UGH! [all laughing] […]

Tosh.0 – Web Redemption – Football-to-the-Face Girl

– Auburn looking for its firsthome conference win since 2014.[whistle shrills] – I got it! I got it! I got it! – Whoa! – Could be worse. She could have been at Baylor. That’s Ashley, and if we go to the replay, we will see that she did not have it. This is what happens […]