Pokémon Battle Royale | DEATH BATTLE!

Pokémon Battle Royale | DEATH BATTLE!


For nearly two decades, people across the globe have struggled endlessly to make one crucial… …exhausting… …impossible choice: Bulbasaur , Squirtle, or Charmander? It’s finally time to learn if the one you chose was really the strongest… And what better way than with their evolved forms! VENUSAUR! The pimply plant monster! BLASTOISE! The bazooka turtle! And CHARIZARD! The… …Dragon. For a fair assessment, we’re examining maxed-out, wild pokemon. For those of you nerdy enough to care, this means: No special EV training No mega evolutions And no tutored, bred, or otherwise unnaturally learned attacks. This way we’ll avoid any, and all, player influence. He’s Wiz, and I’m Boomstick! Aaand it’s our job to analyse their weapons, armour and skills to find out who would win A DEATH BATTLE The first start of the pokemon evolves from Bulbasaur to Ivysaur finally to Venusaur, the seed pokemon. Becoming uglier and uglier with every form! Seriously what the hell is that thing? Of the three starters, Venusaur’s the most well rounded and easiest to raise. In combat it relies on its above average special attack in special defence or non physical combat. Old froggy plant has a variety of moves: vine whips for slapping bitches and razor leaves can cut though whole trees. Then there’s the less action-packed skills like sleep powder, which is used to put foes to sleep and take women home from bars. Venusaur’s adaptability is its greatest asset. It can absorb health with leech seed like some kind of jungle vampire or simply heal on its own by using synthesis. It also knows sweet scent which aids the poor accuracy of the sleep and poison powders. But why bother with poisons and powders when you’ve got a super laser! Venusaur can absorb so much sun energy that he can fire the solar beam! Venusaur! When I find flowers that can do that, I might actually take up gardening. Try and pollinate now, bees. In real life, celestially powered lasers rely on heated magnesium combustion. In order to fire, the Solar Beam’s temperature needs to be OVER 6700 degrees farenheit. Unfortunately, the solar beam is so powerful it takes twice as long to perform as any other attack. As a grass and poison type, Venusaur is extremely effective against water type pokemon. But, keep him away from flying and fire types Because as we all know, plants burn… …and bird fucking hate grass. Yet, Venusaur’s well rounded skills and tricky move set could outsmart the competition. “Venusaur, the final form of the Bulbasaur evolution” “This seed pokemon soaks up the sun’s rays as a source of energy.” The second starter pokemon evolves from Squirtle to Wartortle and finally, to Blastoise, the shellfish pokemon. So how did this thing come about? Did a turtle get really drunk one night and then came across a tank and was like, “Eh, I’ll put my dick in that.” Then nine months later, the tank showed up at his door and was like, “BOOM! This is yours!” And then he raised it out of shame until one day it evolved and then all the other turtles were like, “THAT’S FUCKING AWESOME!” So then they all started plowin’ tanks? …sure… …Why not? Blastoise firmly boast defense over offense, Using his weighty bolt to outlast and over power foes. Like a stone firm upon the shore, he can take wave after wave of punishment. As poetic as that was, he won’t be winning any marathons. He’s almost as slow as a tortoise – which makes sense – – unlike the GIANT GUNS STICKING OUT OF HIS BACK. Blastoise can significantly reduce incoming damage with iron defense, barrel through hazards with rapid spin and guard against any and all attacks with protect. He can chomp foes with bite, and crack heads with skull bash. But most of his arsenal focuses on water power, blasting foes with water gun, water pulse, aqua tail and… … bubbles. But despite its lack in attack type diversity, Blastoise can maximise its watery weaponry with Rain Dance. A rain storm that amplifies water type moves and blocks out the sun. But his ultimate attack is Hydro Pump, where he blasts water out of his twin cannons with enough force to accurately punch through steel at a range of 160 feet. High-pressure water jet cutters are used industrially to cut through metal with at least 55,000 PSI (Or Pounds Per Square Inch). By measuring Blastoise’s cannons in comparison to his size, we can tell his Hydro Pump has a power of 90,000 PSI! That’ll get the stains of your patio! Along with your patio and possibly house. Blastoise is effective against fire type Pokémon, but weak to grass and electric. And when he’s not battling, Blastoise can be found training on secluded islands to strengthen his combat skills. If it plays its defenses right, Blastoise just might outlast everyone. “Blastoise’s strength lies in its power rather than its speed. Its shell is like armour and attacks from the Hydro Cannon on its back are virtually unstoppable.”

22 thoughts on “Pokémon Battle Royale | DEATH BATTLE!

  1. I call bs on blastoise being able to rip charizards wings off his arms too short and stubby but other than that it was ok kinda disturbing tbh

  2. pretty sure charizard should have won. Charizard is the most powerful of the three starters. He was able to defeat Blastoise before even if fire types are supposed to be weak to water types. If Blastoise wouldn't have hid in his shell like a coward and wouldn't have let charizard fight Venusaur alone and get tired and injuries, charizard would have easily won. Also how the frick did he rip his wings off? Blastoise is very weak and charizards wings are very big and powerful you can't rip them off. And blastoise doesn't have any teeth. He's a fricking turtle you can see he has no teeth so he can't bite charizard. Charizard however has sharp white teeth so Blastoise should have died when Charizard bit his head like 5 times. this vid is clearly biased. Charmander is obviously the best starter because of his extremely powerful evolution Charizard. Charizard is actually one of the most powerful pokemon in the entire series maybe even the number one most powerful!

  3. Pokémon moves to wing blaistoise rip off the charizards arm wow ur blaistoise has learned rip off wings of a charizard this is why charizard is now now not a flying type

  4. people:bUt chArIzArD BeAtEd BaSToId iN ThE AnIMe!!!!

    death battle:please thats in the anime the anime doesnt have faxs but death battle does

    people: ;-;

    death battle: 😀

  5. This would actually be the result in a three way battle with each attacking the one they have an advantage over with charizard going first, knocking out venusaur and blastoise going second knocking out charizard and poor venusaur never getting to attack.
    Attacking the one they have a disadvantage to first would likley result in charizard winning as he has a double resistance to venusaur's strongest (grass) moves, unless he's poisoned or something, so he'd get the most attacks in and probably overwhelm the other two.

  6. If I’m playing a Pokémon game, I’ll always research the Gym Leaders and the Elite Four. It’ll help me choose the starter Pokémon and then choose wild Pokémon along with it.

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