I think you should use
a five iron.
You think so? Give me my wedge. ## ##Matty told Hatty
about a thing she saw## Ha! Ha!
[ Imitates Gunshot ]
##Had two big horns## Five iron, huh?
Well, you’re fired. Bye-bye.
##And a woollyjaw## ##Woolly bully## Whoa!
[ Crowd Cheers ] ##Woolly bully
Woolly bully## ##Woolly bully####
What are ya doin’, Happy,
ridin’ a bull? You’re actin’ like a damn fool! [ Cheering ]
Whee! Whee! [ Laughing ] [ Moos ]
Doin’the bull dance.Feelin’ the flow.
Workin’ it.On the 1 8th green,
Shooter McGavin is putting
for the win.Maybe it’s just me,
but his crowd
seems unusually small…for this type of moment.[ Man ]
[ Imitates Gunshot ][ Lundquist ] Most people
have found their way
over to Happy Gilmore.He’s been the talk
of the course
with his huge drives…and his amazingly
bizarre behavior.He’s on the 1 7th green
right now having a little
trouble closing out his day.Happy, the ball itself
has its own energy
or life force, if you will. Its natural environment
is in the hole. So why don’t you
send him home? His bags are packed.
He’s got his airplane tickets. Bring him to the airport.
Send him home. [ Chuckles ]
Yeah. Send him home. I just send him home.
It’s time to go home
there, ball. – [ Crowd Moans ] Ohh!
– You son-of-a-bitch ball.
Why didn’t you just go home? That’s your home!
Are you too good for your home?
Answer me!Suck my white ass,
ball.![ Crowd Shouting ]
Oh! Oh! [ Grunting ] [ Happy Cursing, TV Bleeping ]
Put out a press release…concerning Happy Gilmore
being thrown off the tour. I want a draft
by 6:00 p.m.
You’re right. He was outta line. Behavior
[ Bleeping Continues ]But you know,
golf has been waiting
for a player like this: a colorful,
emotional working-class hero. I will not tolerate
behavior like this.
Gilmore is gone. I just got a call
from the Dallas Open. Their phones have been ringing
off the hook with people
who want to see Happy. They just sold out.
Already? He’s a little rough
around the edges,
but let me work with him.[ Bleeping ]
Piece of monkey sh–.!
Okay. Fine. But he’s
your responsibility. If he cleans up his act,
he can stay. If he doesn’t,
it’s your ass. And anymore of this–
[ Bleeping ]
Sucking co–.![ Grunts ]
There, you fu–in’ motherf–
And he’s gone.[ Bleeping Continues ]
You play it where it lies.!Fu–you!